I cry myself to  sleep, I wonder what it'd be like to love for good.
I cry myself to sleep, and wonder who else, s crying with me.
I wonder what it's like, to feel good for once.
I cry silently, awake in my bed, afraid my mother might hear me if I'm loud.
I cant let her know, because I'm not someone, who can let it all go.
What if, I told you right here and now.
Would you laugh?
Would you cry?
Would you tell me to get a life?
I'm not wanting attention, and f I am I don't know it.
I don't want the pity, because my mind can't hold onto it.
Would you, tell me, your life is worse?
Or would you be a friend, and tell me it'll be alright.
What if I told you, I cry because I miss him.
Because I want him.
To hold him,
to touch him,
to feel his hand clutched in mine,
To feel the bracelet given move as we swing our hands.
I want to be able to talk with him,
I want to be able to laugh with him,
to comfort him,
to stay with him.
I tell myself I am scared, but not of having or loving him, but to lose him.
My heart skips a beat when he tells me he loves me.
My mind goes blank, when I see him online.
He's so wonderful, so cute, handsome and mine...
But what f I tell you, he deserves better than I?
Would you Lie to me to make me feel good?
Would you agree with me, knowing I'd cry?
Or would  you be my friend and tell me, from the bottom of your heart it'll be alright.
I love him, I love him when he smiles, I want to comfort him when hes down.
But my mind triggers my anger, at small useless things.
Can anyone help me? Bare with me, through such anger?
Or can you understand it, know it, embrace it and help me through it.
I want him to love me, for me.
But everyone is a total complete different person over the internet.
I cry in my sleep, because I know I shouldn't have such a wonderful man.
I cry, because I love him, and I know I'm mean to him for no reason.





                                                     .-_I wish I knew how to control my anger, so I could be nice, and show him...that he hasn't made a bad choice in his life, when he chose me as his girlfriend..._-. I love you Corey.